Okay, so the meme probably isn't a new one, and I normally don't let myself get tagged with these, but I loved my results so much I want to share them.

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3 - Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days" http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Put it all together, that's your debut album.

This is the first:



The second was a cheat. The photo and the album name came up as the first quote and the first picture in my previous searches, and it was just too perfect not to mock up. So I redid the thingie to get the "band" name, and here it is...

We finally got around to watching the first two episodes of the new season this evening, and to be honest, my head is still spinning a little bit. I think I thought it was awesome, but it feels really weird, like you can tell that the show is gearing up to finish. This was never a show that stretched out a solid storyline, but these first two episodes have the surreal feeling of being all pace, no contrast - like it's going to be a cram job to fit in everything that they want to say.

The only thing I've probably got to add about this, through the shellshock, is that I'm pretty sure Al Number One just made a really competent argument for the idea that as a species, we are smart enough to choose not to make decisions, or move forward.

Which was a fairly thought-provoking moment. The analogies, metaphors and philosophical questions are already stacking up on top of each other, two episodes in, and I for one need to catch my breath...

Last week's episode of Dr Who was really bad. I mean, depressingly so. If I'd spent the previous few weeks trying to convince someone that the negative things they'd heard about the show weren't true, and then had sat them in front of The Doctor's Daughter, I'd have been truly upset with the results.

The annoying thing about the episode was that the whole thing represented one missed opportunity after another. There are a couple of really nice ideas in the story - in fact, easily enough to anchor a one or two parter around, but Stephen Greenhorn takes these ideas, and rather than  spinning them into a fun little show, or a serious story that made the most of the potential gravity suggested by those ideas, he came up with a jumbled piece of train-wreck tv, which did nothing worthwhile with the scenes that did make sense, and created a whole bunch that totally didn't. I'm especially sad that what might potentially be Martha Jones' final episode gave her so little to do, beyond creating a pointless and devoid of weight detour for her that created a completely superficial threat, seemingly only to give her a moment of paper-thin anxiety.

The editing and production on this episode were also pretty piss-poor, giving us a perfectly rendered look at what might have happened had Grant and Naylor decided at the last minute to take the sets, cameras and actors that they'd prepared for Red Dwarf the comedy, and tried to make it a drama or action series instead. The idea that in space, every darkened or desolate space is lit up by varying shades of neon light, is particularly irritating, and in the past it's ruined a couple of potentially decent episodes of Who. In this one, the first in which I've really noticed particularly dodgy set building, the problem is amped up to eleven, with darkened subterranean rooms being picked out in reds and greens that made me feel like I was wearing 3d glasses.

It's nice to see the theme of myth-building and cultural memory played with again here, and as mentioned before, there was at least one really nice idea in place, almost evocative of some of Douglas Adams or Michael Marshall Smith's more pedestrian work. As well as this, the macguffin that allowed the Doctor's daughter to exist at all, while utterly contrived and cheap, did allow Georgia Moffett, who is an utter cutie, and convincing enough in what is, after all, a fairly poorly plotted out role, to charm the pants off the whole episode.

The riff on the second and third Star Trek movie was, unfortunately, misplaced, and worryingly I don't think it was a deliberate homage - rather, it was expected to be taken seriously. This episode also marked the first time since the beginning of this series that I really felt that Tennant, Tate and Agyeman were really struggling to get through the script.

I was glad when it was over, despite some of the potential the episode showed, and I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow's Agatha Christie episode, despite the appearance of the lovely Felicity Kendall. Sigh, another week till an episode of Dr Who that I can really get my teeth into again...

Just watched this earlier today, and had a few thoughts.

First up, I'm fairly certain that I think the Sontarans are ace. Admittedly, they are one of the more stupid looking species on the show, or in fact in science-fiction in general, but their characterisation has a consistency and a charm to it that almost no other Who aliens manage.

And I've got a real soft spot for Donna Noble, despite the fact that Catherine Tate's own comedy is the worst in lowest common denominator drivel...

Oh, and I did drawrings while I watched. I love Martha Jones so much, but I just can't draw her... dang... And no, I'm not sure who that is in the bottom right...

Just watched this earlier tonight, and reckon it held together pretty well as an episode.

I continue to be nicely surprised by Donna Moss as a companion, and here we got to see her interact with Martha Jones - my hands down favourite companion so far - all of which was nice and convincing.

And I have a soft-spot for the Sontarans, having only seen them in one story before, and not that long ago. They should be utterly ridiculous, especially because, as one character says in this episode, they look like baked potatoes.

But either the director, writer or actors have managed to pin down what it is about the species that makes them quite a scary enemy - their militaristic obsessions and extreme competence as soldiers is delivered utterly convincingly whenever they are on screen, and David Tennant's Doctor manages to give them extra credibility in a couple of well-written warnings to supporting characters.

There are a couple of issues here. For a start, the idea that a military organisation might be forced politically to use vehicles on which hardware that they are investigating as dangerous is installed is a bit of a stretch, but they almost sell it. But that members of that organisation wouldn't have worked out methods of getting out of those vehicles, should they become dangerous, in advance, was something that I struggled with.

Also, why does it never occur to the protagonists, in shows where they are trapped in runaway or remote-controlled cars, to just smash out the windows and get out that way? The baddies have often installed the villainous devices surreptitiously - there's never any suggestion that they've tampered with the windows as well.

My biggest pet peeve on display towards the beginning of this episode, though, is when soldiers don't behave like soldiers, or in fact like they've been trained at all. Especially the ones who are members of UNIT, which is, after all, tasked with dealing with the regular alien invasions of Earth. These guys should not be utterly dumbfounded or caught by surprise by only slightly alien-looking labs, clearly hypnotised human guards, or alien technology.

I understand that these guys have to end up in trouble, in thrall, or dead in this show, and the plot needs to maneuver so that the Doctor can dash in, be the smartest in the room, and save the day. But most of the time the balance is completely out of whack, with the Doctor written as eccentric but super-smart, his assistants taking up the rear quite competently, then the bad guys, and then a huge rift of intelligence before you hit the victims or cannon-fodder. The Doctor's eventual heroic save would be so much more meaningful if the audience doesn't think that the humans could have saved themselves from most of their peril, if only they weren't written so dumb.

It's not like these bad guys wouldn't be threat enough with slightly less retarded human victims. The Sontarans are pretty shrewd fighters, even against foes who aren't vegetable-dumb.

Just watched The Office US 0409 to 0411, and I think that gets me fully up to date. These are the first eps after the hiatus, and the first of them was almost too horrifying and embarrassing to watch.

It may sound odd, considering that my some of my favourite comedies are infused with hideous embarrassment humour, like Alan Partridge, and I guess The Office, but I really struggle with the humiliation of characters on screen. I hide my face, I stand up, and stalk around near the doorway of the room, as if ready to make an escape. I think it's actually a disorder or syndrome of some kind, so what are you going to do?

Anyway, the thing that's stuck in my head after these episodes is that Jim and Pam may be the realisation of a hope that has been started to be a recurring part of my TV watching habits lately - that is, I think that we might get to see Jim and Pam just... be a couple.

What I'm getting at is that lately, it has started to really bother me how seldom we see a couple just... getting on with it. Getting on with being a couple.

The main way for most shows to get accused of "jumping the shark" seems to be to bring together a key couple whose sexual/relationship tension has been a central theme of a show. But I'm starting to feel like a show should be able to maintain its core strengths, even if one of the tensions that exists gets solved.

Up till now, whenever we've seen a major couple get together, the show-runners have frantically scrambled to create as much conflict in the relationship as possible. Suddenly, a show that was once about a whole bunch of characters, and was already getting a little TOO focussed on just two of them, starts to be about throwing completely ludicrous and cliched conflict into that couple's lives. I may be alone in thinking this, but I believe that that completely misreads why the audience was engaged in those characters in the first place.

For me to care about two characters getting together, I have to think that they are suited to each other. So for me, once those characters finally get it on, it has to mean something, and it can only do that if the storylines remain true to what we've seen of those characters thus far. It's why I had a lot more sympathy and fondness for storylines where Chandler is fretting about being able to dance with Monica at their wedding then I ever was about Ross and Rachel's endless "on-a-break" antics.

And why I like where things are going with Jim and Pam. In that they're just going on. The writers had every opportunity to create histrionics and drama out of nowhere with the couple's "moving in with each other" conversations, but they didn't. Maybe it's because those writers are confident enough with everything else in the show that they know that forcing one area of it compromises the whole. Or maybe they'll fuck it all up later on, and introduce some bigger, hunkier love-interest for Jim to compete with, despite competing never really being his or Pam's thing.

Whatever their reasons for writing it that way, for the audience, it's fairly clear that these characters are together because they make more sense that way then they do any other. After all, the show works best when we see the workplace through those two character's sympathetic but cynical eyes - if they aren't a couple, the show would still need to find ways to put them together.

It's interesting to watch how other shows deal with these things. I have a shocking Hollyoaks problem, and watching that has really helped me solidify this particular pet peeve. I know that there's some kind of uniform thinking at play here, that if a character isn't carrying any dramatic weight, then they are worthless. But in a show where you have literally dozens of characters, it doesn't make sense to have every single one of them in constant relationship or emotional conflict. Once you don't have a single, happy character or couple against which you can measure all of the others, every storyline becomes meaningless and impossible to relate to.

(Of course, I'm not saying that once you get two characters that are perfect together together, it all has to be plain sailing - but their tragedies and travails at that point need to be external to their relationship, however much they put it under strain. It becomes impossible to care after awhile about characters who bemoan their relationship problems, when those problems are caused by the same recurring inability to keep it in one's pants, say...)

This week, Andrew Cheverton leaves Elephant Words for a time, to spend more time on his comic work. He will replaced in the short term by Rol Hirst.

Both Andy and Rol were founding contributors to Elephant Words, and it's a big deal that one of them is leaving... and that one of them left before, but is back for more.

Andy's Elephants can almost all be defined by a desire to experiment, and a need to always provide as solid a piece as possible. Rol's, by a pitch perfect sardonic sense of humour and the ability to almost always make you commit that rarest of acts, the Laugh Out Loud.

For your reading pleasure, here are a few of my favourite pieces by the two authors so far:

Andy Cheverton:
The Scare Crows of Mars -

But Donny and me, we made it onto the surface of Mars.  The spaceship was dented because Sam was supposed to help.  We’re the first men on Mars.  That means it belongs to us now.

The Longshanks Bill Quartet -

Longshanks Bill Reaches The End Of The World
Longshanks Bill And The Great Space Elevator
Longshanks Bill Hits The Ground In The Sky
Longshanks Bill Falls Up To His Waist In Love

The Last Snow Of Summer -

If they allowed illegally cute women to be bag ladies, Cookie would be their queen.

On Montague Road -

There was a man dwelt by a churchyard.

Rol Hirst:
Keep Out Of Lake -

This is what I’m thinking as I stand outside her room, reading that old tin sign she’s got pinned on the door, ‘Keep Out Of Lake’, wondering if that’s like ‘Do Not Disturb’ where she comes from, wondering what I’m even doing here tonight.

They Were Robots All Along... -

“And the twist was – they were robots all along.”

On The Air -

Jesse reads the report like he’s supposed to, like he has every night for twenty-eight years, then he taps the screen that fires off Celine Dion on the playout system and stares out at the stars. Celine Dion! Has it really come to this?

I Can Read You Like A Book -

Of course you would. You’re no different to me. Unless you’re the sort who’d do it, but wouldn’t ever admit to it. In which case: at least I’m honest.

It's Five O'Clock Nowhere -

Sometimes it felt like even the second hand was fighting a losing battle.

Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only The Piano Player -

They called it The Dangerous Interval, Diabolus In Musica – The Devil In Music.

Thanks to Rol, who never does these things, except when he does...

4 movies I'd watch again (tough whittling it down, so I just picked the four that I would be happy to watch again RIGHT NOW if you asked)

Fargo
Blade
The Devil's Backbone
Shawshank Redemption

4 places I've lived

London
Cambridgeshire
Lincolnshire
Hampshire

4 TV shows I watch (again, tough call... we watch LOTS of TV)

The Office US
Lost
In Treatment
Prison Break

(Honorary Mentions - CSI is a regular guilty pleasure, and The Wire, because it's finished, but would have been on here otherwise)

4 people I email

Girl One
Chev
James
Rol

4 things I eat

Pork chops, Smash, garlic mushrooms and gravy
Spaghetti bolognese
Chicken, Chicken Tonight, and rice
Chilli (made from leftover bolognese)
(What can I say... we have settled into a routine...!)

4 places I'd rather be

At home in front of either telly or monitor
Playing Carcassonne
Walking the dog (the sun just came out!)
Asleep

A winning smile.
A jaunty tune.
A 1gb memory stick with my Portable Apps, Rough Draft and Flock on it.
My Treo, which can do so much, and yet still only gets used as a phone.
Keys and wallet. I know that they're a gimme, but I'm almost obsessive about having them on me at all times.
My iPod shuffle, although for several weeks I've been forgetting to carry earphones with me. Still, I use it as vital storage when the memory stick fills up.
My pens and my Moleskine (either the small one if I'm just in pockets, or the bigger one if I've got my bag.